Here in my life…

I have never walked on water
Felt the waves beneath my feet
But at Your Word, Lord
I receive Your faith to walk on oceans deep

And I remember how You found me
In that very same place
All my failings sure they would have drowned me
Still You made a way

You are my freedom
Jesus You’re the reason
I’m kneeling again at Your throne
Where would I be without You
Here in my life, here in my life

You have said that all the heavens
Sing for joy at one who finds the
Way to freedom, truth of Jesus
Brought from death into His life

And I remember how You saw me
Through the eyes of Your grace
And though the cost was Your beloved for me
Still You made a way

You are my freedom
Jesus You’re the reason
I’m kneeling again at Your throne
Where would I be without You
Here in my life, here in my life

———————————————————

Without a doubt, one of the most powerful songs that Hillsong sings.  Intense lyrics that depict the incredible depth that Jesus went to in rescuing us, in rescuing me.  Everytime I hear it, the Holy Spirit reminds me of where I was, how I was rescued, and where I am now.  Praise be to God, for giving His beloved for me so that I can walk on oceans deep.  And praise be to God for being the only one who can cause me to cry, like a baby, as the Spirit floods my heart with thanksgiving and love for my Savior.

There’s no doubt that I’m no longer who I used to be…

Proud Parents!

What a cool thing to see our daughter welcoming the Class of 2009 as Senior Class President. We are definitely proud parents. Yet, in a way, in a surreal way, we feel like this is the official beginning of “letting go”. Our time to help our daughter find God’s path for her next years and actually move her along, and out of our hands. Scary, sad, and yet incredibly exciting. She was born for this. It’s just eye-opening after 18 years of being our baby.

Praise be to God for allowing us to raise His girl!

Then and Now…

As I was looking through our photos from Mexico, I couldn’t help but feel like I’ve seen one of these pics before (somewhere in the recesses of my memory).  So I printed out a couple for my desk at work and began adding the new prints to my picture frames, when – BAM – out falls the picture that was so familiar to me.  One of my favorite pics of my fam, in the Bahamas in 2004, doing “our mock cover” of an Audio Adrenaline album shot.  The shot from Mexico shows my family in almost the same positioning, only years later and in a different country.

We’ll call these our “World Tour” photos.

Me and My Graduate in Mexico!

Just returned from Kelsi’s graduation trip to Mexico.  It was a fabulous time of blessing for her and for us.  We’re so proud of the person she’s become, so compassionate, so loving of all, so full of grace and mercy, so strong – so Christ-like.

God has been so gracious to allow Miss and I the chance to raise such an incredible girl, and we can’t wait to see how she continues to align herself up with His Kingdom’s cause.

The adventure continues (on bended knee)…

Love.

Of ourselves is natural. Of others, is only a gift of time spent with God, as we are transformed into something so supernatural, that we are no longer ourselves, but a new creation.

How I so long to get there…

New Bent?

So I’ve been doing “Christianity” for 13 years now.  I’ve professed Christ as my Lord and Saviour and have accepted His finished work on the cross.  My death has been dealt with, no worries.  I’ve followed Jesus’ example of baptism by immersion and have made it clear to the world, through that very act, that I am now His disciple.  I’ve studied Scriptures, fellowshipped with the saints, attended services of worship, thanksgiving, adoration and praise, sweated on numerous mission trips and I’ve even pastored a flock of students for 8 years.   I’ve walked through leaving one church, to travel the lonely valley of finding another, “healthy” church.  I’ve worked with several church plants and talked with countless numbers of people who have offered their own opinions and frustrations about “modern-day Christianity”. 

Yet still, 13 years later, I’m perplexed that Jesus, a radical new Rabbi with an equally radical new yoke, called to me and said “Follow Me, I believe in you.” 

Believe in me to do what?  Sit in a building, with other people who agree and are sitting in the same building, and talk to and teach them how to be better at what we all are doing?  Sing praise to God and hug those around me, providing that awesomely “homey” feel to the corporate worship experience, then go back home to my routines only to struggle through the endless battle described by Paul in Romans 7?  Offer my talents and gifts to serve  kids, dressed in the latest Hollister fashions, who don’t really care about following God or even trying for that matter?

My heart is crushed by the famine in this world.  My soul bleeds for the injustice served to the innocent, defenseless, hopeless, and marginalized of our societies.  My mind races at the numbers of people without a place to call home, or a friend to talk to.  The needs are everywhere.  Simple needs.  Basic needs.  Needs that I’m not meeting, because I’m blind with privilege.  What about that call to “Follow Me”?  Isn’t that the very heartbeat of God, to reach out to those who can’t reach out for themselves, to fight for those He loves? 

Perhaps I’ve never really begun to “follow”.  Perhaps I’ve been hanging around in the lobby, talking the talk, doing the deeds, while the Rabbi has long since left and is sitting with the man who just lost his job, his home and his family – with the orphan who doesn’t know love – with the woman laying in the hospital bed without any family – with the child who has no clean water – with the mom who can’t feed her children – with the (…to be continued)

Bread and Cheese

One day Jesse said to David, “Take this basket of roasted grain and these ten loaves of bread, and carry them quickly to your brothers. And give these ten cuts of cheese to their captain. See how your brothers are getting along, and bring back a report on how they are doing.” 1 Samuel 17:17,18

Kind of cool, how before David became King, before David assumed increased responsibilities in life – the shepherd boy took a simple order from his father and found himself in the perfect place to be used by God.

I stumbled across a teaching by Steven Furtick (Pastor at Elevation Church in Moncks Corner, SC.) as he shared part 3 of the Kaleo series at Lifechurch.tv.  He did an amazing job at pointing out the simplicity of David’s actions.  The way that David, enthusiastically followed an order that had no “spiritually giant” appeal to it.  Just bread and cheese.  However, in following that simple, menial order – God placed David in the perfect spot to be a change agent against a “physical giant”, which inevitably catapulted him towards greater and mightier things that he could never dream of.

I’ve been encouraged.  In the midst of searching for where I fit in the Kingdom, where I fit in the local body, where I fit in a single ministry – I’ve been challenged to quit thinking grandiose thoughts, extravagant plans, blueprints for work needed to be accomplished – and begin thinking about bread and cheese.

God help me be faithful in the little things.  The smiles, the kindness, the commitment, the obedience, the love, the service – even when none of them “seem” giant.  God help me to be a faithful servant, exactly where I am.  God help me to enthusiastically deliver the “bread and cheese” that you ask me to, that I may be right where You need me to be.

Bread and cheese.  Who would’ve thought…?

I Love My Church!

Wow!  Never thought I would say that again.  But as I sit at my kitchen table, on a Wednesday evening, and participate in the midweek service via internet, and listen to my pastor LEAD ME and ENCOURAGE ME and TEACH ME, I realize that I’m loved.  Not just by him, but by God.

The opportunities that COR provides – not only during our community worship gatherings, but for those who are home on a Wednesday evening, to plug in to God and be a part of the Church, to worship through song, to pray and be encouraged how, to listen to the vision of a shepherd whose solely bent on seeing God’s Kingdom lived out here, right now – thrill my soul.

I’m truly being led by a man of God, who provides a solid example for me of Christlike character and fruit.  I’m being encouraged to do things that stretch my faith and cause me to look beyond myself.  I’m seeing others who desire the same things I do, the same passions I do, the same God I do.  I’m part of a community of believers that are moving forward, growing, loving and living.

Praise God for COR and the pastors who lead me now.

Twilight and my soul…

One of my favorite things to do is to sit on my deck at twilight, legs perched up on the railing, torches lit and casting a soft glow against the cypress trees, faint music playing in the background, cup of joe by my side.  The simple pleasure of sitting, looking, watching, listening, being.  A simple pleasure that comes so infrequently because of the busyness of my doings.

It’s amazing how much you see, when you stop to look – how much you hear, when you stop to listen – how much your soul stirs, when you let it.  I see stars, millions of miles away, casting the glow of their Creator.  God’s jewels in the sky.  I watch the fire dance, the way only fire can do.  It’s calming, almost hypnotic.  

And at this odd time of year, Christmas, to be sitting out on my deck, I find the Shalom of God once again in my soul.  That place of contentment, resting in the presence of Emmanuel, God with us.  That place of love for my Redeemer, who brought me up out of the pit and placed my feet on the rock.  That place of knowing that this is the only way to live. 

For all of God’s promises have been fulfilled in Christ with a resounding “Yes!” And through Christ, our “Amen” (which means “Yes”) ascends to God for his glory. 2 Cor.1:20

Reflections on God’s Grace

As I look back on the potential I had to become a destructive voice against God’s plans and His dreams for His Church, I can’t help but rejoice that I’ve healed and grown through one of the most difficult times in my journey.

I rejoice over the fact that my dislike for all the things I’ve seen in the local church has been replaced by a love for it once again, that God is passionate for His Bride.

I rejoice over the fact that my speech has moved back towards gentleness and peace regarding the matters of faith that once made me incredibly angry and disgusted.

I rejoice over an environment of healing and connection, a place where problems can be worked through and talked over in a safe and vulnerable manner.  The Upper Rooms has been a catalyst for this rejoicing!

And finally, I’m thankful that I didn’t stay in the state I was, but have moved on, pressed forward, towards the goal for Christ’s sake.  Because I wouldn’t have been of any use to the King, with all the wounds I’d amassed.  

Praise God for healing and help.  He is a good God.